This morning I did what I have been trying to do for a long time. I woke up early. I kept telling myself that one morning I was going to so I could sit and eat breakfast, drink coffee, and blog. I usually, however, become overtaken by my snooze button and sleep late. Then, I am forced to take a two second shower, leave my hair wet, and run to class. Somehow, that is not the best start to the day. There are also the mornings when I get up late and decide to act like I have gotten up early. This usually means cramming a bowl of Cherrios down my throat while trying to tell myself I can take a literal two minute shower and be ready to go in fifteen minutes. I have never quite made that work. This morning, I am sitting here, with plenty of time to eat and get ready, drinking my gingerbread latte and waiting for my blueberry heart shaped muffins to be ready to take out of the oven. I wish I could do this every morning. The best part about it is that now I get to leave the oven door open to cool which will make the kitchen nice and warm.
I have gotten into reading books again. My lame excuse for not reading more is that I never have time. This is less true than the real reason which is that I have a five minute attention span. I am also a very picky reader. I get tired of reading the same story line on the back cover of every book. It usually goes something like "Forgotten love, hidden secrets, rediscovering her past and true love, fiery romance, will Betty Sue find what she is looking for?" I cannot stand that. I will put a book right back down if it sounds like a story line I have already read somewhere. Also, I hate finding out that the movie I just watched is actually based on a novel and I did not know it. That makes me feel really lame. The books are always ten times better than the movie. Also, I feel like the fact I did not even know it was a book just makes me a typical lazy American.
Over Thanksgiving break, I read Fireproof. I read the back of the cover and decided it was perfect. True to it's back cover description, the book was amazing. The story was about a firefighter named Caleb and his wife Catherine and how they save their marriage from divorce. I feel like books like this are an important thing for me to be reading to prepare me for my marriage. I love being able to read about things that go wrong in a marriage from the husbands perspective as well as the wife. I feel like it makes me more prepared to do accident prevention in my own marriage. FIreproof hit on all the things I consider most important to sustaining a marriage. Mainly, the need for understanding what your spouse needs. For the man, it is all about respect and appreciation. If a man feels like his accomplishments and contributions to the household go unnoticed, it strips him of his dignity. Men must be appreciate and respected. This is something that is so hard for women to understand. We would rather be loved than respected. Women are the complete opposite. We need to always feel pursued. We need to feel like our significant other is always fighting for us. Men have a tendency to marry a woman and stop trying to persue her whereas women have a tendency to become so uptight that we begin to belittle the man. I have found this so true in my own relationships. For some reason, it is so easy to become so mean so quickly. I get to the point where I realize that all I am doing is telling Alex what he is doing wrong and barking orders at him. I also start to realize I am not saying thank you for things he does for me anymore that just happen out of habit like carrying something for me or holding a door. I don't compliment him anymore. As girls, we always fish for compliments but we never realize that guys need compliments too. They need to hear that the look nice or be told that they are doing a good job. Another good thing the book touched on is the lesson that sex is not a bargaining chip or a weapon. A woman should never withhold sex from her husband in order to punish him. The book has spiritual backing and brought up the biblical basis of this principal. Husbands and wives are not to deny each other in that way. For the husband, it is an extremely unfair temptation.
I remember the first time this was all told to me. It came to me in 10th grade at church one night during our girls bible class. One of the mother was teaching it and she began to explain that men would rather be respected then loved. I was knocked out my chair. I never realized the things I was doing were so wrong in my relationship with Alex. It's almost like you could say that it astonished me to find out that boys have feelings, shocker.
I think books like this become so important to me looking at all of the failed marriages I see today. It is a scary thing to look around and see. I have been taking notes for quite some time now trying to figure out what has gone wrong. I think the situations discussed in Fireproof are the main causes. I know no marriage is perfect, but I hope by educating myself before hand with books like Fireproof I can make my marriage last. Possibly the biggest lesson from the book was that love is decision. It is a choice, not a feeling, that we make every single day. I must choose to wake up every morning and love Alex, even when I don't "like" him. I am truly blessed to have someone like him that makes that decision really easy!
Last night, my roommate and I decorated our apartment for Christmas. I love the way that Christmas decorations just bring warmth and home to a place. I have just now started planning everyone's Christmas presents. I am never an early shopper. I do take dedication in my decision making. I like to get things that will really mean something to someone that way I can be exciting about giving the present to them. It really is better to give than to receive when you have really thought out a present before giving it. I am not so good at keeping secrets most of the time. Any one who knows me very well can tell you that first order of business when I get home for Christmas break is to slunk to the floor like the Grinch, slide across the living room on my belly, and sniff out each and every present under the tree. I shake them, weigh them, smell them, and lick them (okay, so maybe I don't go that far). I always want to know before hand what I am getting. This makes it even harder for me to not tell someone what I am getting them. I had to keep a secret anniversary present from Alex for a month. It was killing me not to tell him! I do not know what I will ever do when I have kids.
No comments:
Post a Comment