Emily's Lemonade Stand.

I cannot believe I went to look for a wedding dress. Learning that Alex was going to be be able to graduate on time sent my mother and I into a flurry of planning. I have been waiting to be able to get serious about this wedding since that ring hit my finger. Getting in that dressing room, working way to hard to get into the undergarments (I had no idea there were so many), and slipping on the dresses made everything so real. Walking out, standing on the pedestal, and looking at myself I just saw a little girl in a pretty dress. Sometimes I feel like such a 'big kid', this was not one of those times. I have also never had so many butterflies in my tummy. I have officially begun to be slightly stressed. I felt the pressure to find the perfect dress. This was not because I am materialistic looking to spend millions of dollars. A wedding dress in not just a dress. In being white, it is a symbol of purity. It together with the veil is wrapping of a present. I love the symbology behind that, however outdated it may be. I am going to wear a full on veil to keep this tradition alive. I want it to be the perfect present for Alex. I can remember being a little girl and the women at my church telling me that I wanted to be able to look at my husband one day and say "I saved myself for you." I knew it was important then. Meeting Alex really affirmed it's importance. I regret every moment of my life without him. Every time I said I love you, every kiss, every hug, every smile. I wish I could give them all to him. I know he will love whatever I wear, I just want to know I have put some thought into it. So, before you get too excited about my picture, this was not my final pick, just one of the dresses I tried on and eliminated. I am pleased to say the mother and I have yet to cry. I cannot say the same for my best friend. She might have shed a tear. I am blessed to have her, she was so very helpful doing everything in her power to make everything special. She was more prepared than me.




I have this illusion that I may actually make and keep some new years resolutions this year. One of my resolutions is to take better care of myself. The other night I got in really late and decided to go to bed without washing my face or brushing my teeth and thought to myself "It's not the new year yet." and got into bed. I get this feeling a lot that I am not living my life to the fullest and being the best Emily I can be. It is so easy to become lazy and live life from your bed. I am young, I should be accomplishing something. In addition to the long list of new years resolutions, I have lost my mind and created a bucket list. Right now, it has 12 items on it and the list keeps going. However batty I may think I have gone, I think there are some positives to it. I feel like having a bucket list gives a person something to look forward to. It helps get me excited about my life and discover who I am and what I love. I enjoy thinking to myself that every morning I wake up is another day that God has something for me to do. This is especially important for me to do after Christmas. I get seasonal blues. I just assume rip out my heart then take down Christmas decorations. For some unknown reason, it really depresses me for Christmas to be over. I feel like mother and I have the same conversation every year about my Christmas blues. This year she said "There is more great things to come. You have to learn to enjoy things and then to let them go and know they will be back again." That is some pretty good advice. If I think back upon my life, I have been really sad for some things to end but there are some really happy things I would have missed out on had other things not ended. I have so much to look forward to, especially if I keep my resolutions and bucket list. Like I said in my first blog entry, the only guarantee is that the lemons of tomorrow will be fresher than today, as lemons usually are.